A Matter Of Life Or Snape
by Jess-XxX
Summary: A Story Where All The Harry Potter Characters Have MSN! Please review, it's better than it sounds. Written By: JessXxX and Giddygirlie
1. Chapter 1

Hello, my extremely cool people. Remember, this was a **JOINT EFFORT BETWEEN ME AND GIDDYGIRLIE**because we know each other in real life :P

These characters do not belong 2 us…blah di blah…ok, have 2 admit, got that line off you, Lucy (Giddygirlie)

**A MATTER OF LIFE OR SNAPE**

**_CHAPTER ONE: MOOOONY_**

**PARTICIPANTS: _xXxJames4LilyxXx _**

_**You're not serious, I am! **_

_**I feel a bad moon arising **_

_**I smell a rat! **_

**You're not serious, I am! says: **I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me...

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **We're all here, mate.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **I know, I just like that song.

_**XRed FlowerX has joined the conversation.**_

**XRed FlowerX says: **Oh, for Merlin's sake, James Potter, change that name this _instant _or I will hex you into oblivion!

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Ooooooooooh, big words! Moooony, what does 'oblivion' mean?

**xXxJames4Lily4eva and alwaysxXx says: **Liiiiiiily...do you like my new name?

**XRed FlowerX says: **Don't make me use this wand, Potter.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Moooony! How dare you ignore me!

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Shut up. I'm trying to listen to Flitwick.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **That's a good point. Lily, why aren't you taking notes?

**XRed FlowerX says: **I am, Potter. It's just that I'm capable of multi-tasking.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Aaaah! Big words overload!

_**You're not serious, I am! has left the conversation. **_

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Anyway...I see you've changed your name back, Prongs.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Yeah. You got a problem with that? Huh huh huh? Do ya do ya do ya?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **No, not really.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Didn't think so. Anyway, Lily, do you want to name our children Evans-Potter? Or just Potter? Potter sounds much better, don't you think? And what about our first child's name? I know! James Jr. for a boy and Lily Jr. for a girl! Whaddaya think, Lils?

**XRed FlowerX says: **I like Harry, actually.

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Hang on just one second! Did Lily just agree to have children with James?

**I smell a rat! says: **I like cheese.

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **That was extraordinarily random...

_**You're not serious, I am! has joined the conversation.**_

**You're not serious, I am! says:** Moooony, what does extraordinarily mean?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Stop calling me 'Moooony', Padfoot, it's extraor - I mean,_very_ annoying.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Oki-doki, Moooony.

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Go back to sleep, Sirius.

_**You're not serious, I am! has left the conversation. **_

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Anyway...where were we?

**I smell a rat! says: **I like pepperoni!

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Um, OK...I meant going back to the prospective child, 'Harry'.

**XRed FlowerX says: **I didn't mean it like that! Aargh! I hate you, Potter. I will make your life a living hell...forever and ever, with God as my witness, Amen.

_**XRed FlowerX has left the conversation.**_

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **She so wants me.

_**XRed FlowerX has joined the conversation.**_

**XRed FlowerX says: **I so do not.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **! You'd left the conversation!

**XRed FlowerX says: **I have my ways.

_**XRed FlowerX has left the conversation.**_

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **I think you've upset her there, James...

_**You're not serious, I am! has joined the conversation.**_

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Moooony, Prongs...has she gone yet?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Thank Merlin. The bell.


	2. Chapter 2

_**CHAPTER TWO: MRS. SNAPE**_

**PARTICIPANTS: _XRed FlowerX_**

_**I feel a bad moon arising**_

**XRed FlowerX says: **Remus...

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Yessss...

**XRed FlowerX says: **Why is James pointing his wand at my potion and muttering under his breath?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Because he's trying to get some Amortentia into your potion without you noticing. Slughorn is going to make us drink our potions today.

**XRed FlowerX says: **Oh. But how did he make _that_?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Presuming you mean how did he make Amortentia, he didn't. He nicked it from Slughorn.

_**I smell a rat! has joined the conversation.**_

**XRed FlowerX says: **That dirty rat!

**I smell a rat! says: **Me? I took a bath last month! I swear!

**XRed FlowerX says: **Not you, Peter. James. But last month...

_**DarkArts101 has joined the conversation.**_

**DarkArts101 says: **Well hel-lo Mrs. Snape!

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Eww...

**I smell a rat! says: **Yush, eww...

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **You do know that 'yush' is not a word, Wormtail?

**I smell a rat! says: **Yush, Remus! Get with the times!

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **OK...

**DarkArts101 says: **Take no notice of the rabble, my sweet. Just hear me as I sing...

_**xXxJames4LilyxXx has joined the conversation.**_

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Lily! I cannot believe you let him sing that in front of the whole class! In front of _Slughorn! _Anyway, what did he actually sing? Slimeballs aren't the most articulate of beings...

**XRed FlowerX says: **Oh sure! Says you!

**DarkArts101 says: **Every time we touch, I get this feeling...

**XRed FlowerX says: **Ooh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go mad...

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Shut up, just shut up, shut up, shut up, just shut up, shut up!

_**You're not serious, I am! has joined the conversation.**_

**You're not serious, I am! says: **And I'm so sick of love songs, so sad and slow, so why can't I turn off the radio?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **I feel a bad moon arising...ooh...

**I smell a rat! says: **I'm tellin' ya to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh)...

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Is there something you haven't told us, Pete?

**XRed FlowerX says: **OK, can we just stop with theMuggle songs now?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **To quote our dear friend Remus Lupin, where were we?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **We were somewhere?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Sirius, your cauldron just spontaneously combusted.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Big words again...right. Meaning...?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **It exploded.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Oh yeah. Later guys...see ya slimeball.

_**You're not serious, I am! has left the conversation.**_

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Lily, I've made up a new song for you.

**XRed FlowerX says: **Oh yes? What would that be called?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **The catchy title is...**WHY SNAPE THE SLIMEBALL?**

**XRed FlowerX says: **Funny, Potter, very funny...but that slimeball just so happens to be my boyfriend!

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **He is?

**DarkArts101 says: **I am?

**XRed FlowerX says: **Yes.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Lily, flower of my heart, how could you?

**DarkArts101 says: **Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout! Come on sweet cheeks. Let's roll!

**XRed FlowerX says: **Um...we're in the middle of Potions class, honey.

**DarkArts101 says: **Oh yeah. I forgot.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **_Honey? _Oh Merlin!Lily, sweet queen of ice, you have succeeded in breaking my heart into itty bitty pieces at last! Goodbye, my love...

_**xXxJames4LilyxXx has left the conversation.**_

_**You're not serious, I am! has joined the conversation.**_

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Moooony...can you repair my cauldron for me?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Saved by the bell.

**I smell a rat! says: **I like pie!


	3. Chapter 3

**A MATTER OF LIFE AND SNAPE**

_**CHAPTER THREE: MESSAGES FROM THE FUTURE**_

**PARTICIPANTS: _XRed FlowerX_**

_**xXxJames4LilyxXx**_

_**You're not serious, I am!**_

_**I feel a bad moon arising**_

_**I smell a rat!**_

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says**:Will you go out with me?

**XRed FlowerX says**: No.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says**:Will you go out with me?

**XRed FlowerX says**: No.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says**:Will you go out with me?

**XRed FlowerX says**: No.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **I think you're fighting a losing battle there, mate.

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Padfoot, McGonagall just asked you to kindly pay attention and tell her what an Animagus is.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Oh, that's easy.

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **SIRIUS! Why did you just tell her that an Animagus is James?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **I did?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Yes, you did!

_**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx has joined the conversation.**_

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **OK...who's Harry?

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **I'm confused.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Hey, I thought you were Harry! How can you be confused?

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Everybody ignore him. He's feeling a leetle bit strange today.

**XRed FlowerX says: **I like that name. H-a-r-r-y. What's your surname, Harry?

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Um. Potter.

**XRed FlowerX says: **Ah, Harry Potter. That has a nice ring...**WHAT?**

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Cool. Who's your daddy?

**XRed FlowerX says: **James, this is no time to do a Potter on me!

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **No, really!

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Um...James Potter? Like...you?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **No way! A kid from the future. Can I be his godfather, Prongs?

**XRed FlowerX says: **Who's your mother, then?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Course, mate.

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **I'm confused again!

**I feel a bad moon arising says: **Don't worry, I am too.

**I smell a rat! says: **I like fish!

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Random much?

**XRed FlowerX says: **ANSWER ME! Who is your mother?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **I'd rather not talk about it, thanks.

**XRed FlowerX says: **Not you, twit! Harry!

**You're not serious, I am! says: **_s_or**rY!**

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Lily Evans. I suppose that's...um, you?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Ha! See? We have a son from the future, Lilykins! This just proves that you and Snape were just wrong for each other...'cuz you end up with me, you end up with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Woah! Rewind! My _mum_and **SNAPE? **As in slimeball Snape? AS IN SEVERUS STUPID SNAPE?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **He hates him too! Aah. You do us proud, godson.

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Godson? Sirius, is that _you_?

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Sirius Black, at your service! If I was there in the future with you now, I would sweep off my top hat and bow, if I had a top hat, that is. But I never will, because top hats - not cool!

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **I...have to go!

_**DarkArts101 has joined the conversation.**_

**DarkArts101 says: **Hello, shnookums!

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **On second thoughts...I can _so _stay. I have to see this!

**I feel a bad moon rising says: **I don't. _Shnookums?_ Catch you later.

_**I feel a bad moon rising has left the conversation.**_

**XRed FlowerX says: **Yeah, um, Snape...I can't go out with you.

**DarkArts101 says: **But honeeeey buneeeey, we had such a good thing going!

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **She loves me really. Muahahahaha!

**You're not serious, I am! says: **OK, James...evil laughing. Not cool!

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **_s_or**rY!**

**XRed FlowerX says: **Snape, I've always liked James...I just wanted to make him jealous! Tee hee. So...EAT SLIME, SLIMEBALL!

**DarkArts101 says: **Fine! I've never liked you anyway, Mudblood!

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Woah. Lily, tee-heeing. Not cool! And Snivellus...Mudblooding is super not cool!

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Lily thinks I'm extremely gorgeous, ooh yeah, yeah yeah yeah...

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Moooony, what does 'extremely' mean?

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Moony's not here, Padfoot.

**You're not serious, I am! says: **Oh. Proooongs...nah that doesn't sound right. Prongs, what does 'extremely' mean?

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Um. Well. I'd better scram...

**XRed FlowerX says: **Oh. OK. Well, I suppose we'll all see you in the future?

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Well, actually you won't. I'll explain next time, K?

**I smell a rat! says: **Strange boy. Rather like me!

**XRed FlowerX says: **James, sweetheart, I think Peter's disturbed.

**xXxJames4LilyxXx says: **Don't we all, Lils...don't we all.

**xXxHarry4GinnyxXx says: **Tut tut. I'm still here, you know!

**You're not serious, I am! says: **OK, Harry...tutting. Not cool!

**I smell a rat! says: **I like pasta!

**Hope U All Enjoyed This! XxX Luv Yaz Evry1, N I'm Speekin 4 Me N Lu (Giddygirlie) Plz review, or me n Giddygirlie will curl up in a corner n cry…Joke, evry1…but pweez review  Lol**


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